


pass the torch (let the fire burn)

by biochemprincess



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2015-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-18 18:58:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3580359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biochemprincess/pseuds/biochemprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They never tell you what sacrifice really means.</p>
            </blockquote>





	pass the torch (let the fire burn)

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably really messy, but I missed Agent Carter and thought: Why not write 'ladies supporting ladies' stuff? As always, feedback is very much appreciated. :)

When Bahrain happened, Peggy Carter had already been retired. Officially only of course. Because somebody like her couldn't just leave behind her legacy - they'd have to pry it out of her cold dead hands. But then there had been stories about the agent taking down a group of enemies - alone and unarmed. And she'd wanted to see the woman behind the stories. Which was why she'd invited her into her home.

"I'm very glad to see you alive and well." Melinda didn't look like she'd expected this, as she sat obviously uncomfortable on the couch. Her eyes shot up, locking with Peggy's. There was bleakness in her look, hard sadness in the soft features of her face. She was too young to have seen such horror.

Peggy had always been realistic, not naive enough to think they could run a secret agency without agents offering their services, their lives.

And yet she came to the conclusion that sometimes the price to pay was not worth the outcome.

They never tell you what sacrifice really means, Peggy thought. And if they did, you don't believe them. Because you don't want to believe you could possibly lose everything.

"I'm alive, but I'm not well."

She had a point.

"If you allow me the question, why am I here?"

"I wanted to see how you are with my own eyes. I could help you, if you want to accept my help."

Melinda crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I don't need help."

"It's an offer. No more, no less. But I think we all need someone to have our back."

The defensiveness in the younger woman's gesture eased a little. They stared at each other for a few minutes, not one words spoken between them. Peggy already like her.

"I'll consider it." Melinda eventually said.

 

***

 

"Have you heard what they call you?" Peggy asked over their weekly Friday afternoon tea.

"The Cavalry." May hissed through gritted teeth. "They need to stop. They don't understand a thing."

"They think you're a hero."

"Am I?"

"Yes, you are."

Melinda didn't seem convinced. But it was nothing but the truth, Peggy would never dare to lie to her.

"They make it sound like it's something worth achieving. One of the specialists actually came up to me and told me how jealous he is, that he didn't get the chance. I wanted to break his jaw."

"People like to make heroism sound attractive, when in reality it's anything but that. You know the truth. Nothing else matters." Peggy took a sip of her tea. "And? Did you?"

"Do what?"

"Break his jaw?"

"No. Too many witnesses."

"What a shame."

 

***

 

Years passed and her mind wasn't what it used to be. Peggy could clearly make out the barely hidden pity in her visitor's eyes whenever she had one of her better days. She hadn't expected Melinda to visit her, but it was a much-needed change. She didn't treat her any differently, not matter how old she'd become.

"I think I made a mistake." 

"What did you do?"

"I picked a girl."

So Peggy listened to her for an afternoon, about what Fury had told her to do, about the team she picked: The specialist, the engineer and the biochemist - the girl.

"I can't tell you what to do, Melinda."  

"That's not why I came here for."

"What do you want to hear then?"

May considered the question thoughtfully. "How do I keep her safe?"

"You don't. And when the time comes, you'll stand by her side and support her when the world doesn't."

 

***

 

For the first time in many years, May fixed herself a drink out of pure frustration. She couldn't wrap her head around the cold hard facts.

Simmons had jumped out of the plane - her plane. She'd chosen to save them instead of herself. 

May downed the alcohol in one go, then filled the glass again.

This will end in a tragedy, she thought.

 

***

 

"Here. Eat." May almost shoved the banana into Jemma's face. 

"I'm not hungry."

"Eat it." Eating was non-negotiable at this point, she would feed it to her by force if necessary.

Defeated, the girl took the fruit - a berry to be exact, Jemma had told her that once - and started peeling it.

"How is he?"

"Alive."

May looked at Fitz' lifeless body, chained to the hospital bed. Jemma never said anything else. Alive was the only word in her vocabulary right now. And in the end, it was the only thing that mattered anyway, right?

She watched her and it felt like seeing herself in a mirror, being thrown back two decades, recovering from her own trauma. 

Jemma was more ghost than girl after almost a week awake, holding his hand like she could pull him back to life.

(She couldn't, May'd tried it on different occasions.)

"He's going to wake up, Simmons."

"It's been six days, according to my researches he should've woken up by now."

"Sometimes science doesn't have a plan for everything."

"I know. That's what I'm afraid of."

 

***

 

The walls were too yellow, too forced to be homelike. But it would do. She wouldn't stay at Hydra forever, Jemma told herself. She'd go back and then she'd never have to see yellow walls again.

(How could she survive months undercover, if she hated it here already after only ten minutes?)

She watched May walk through the rooms, finishing her security check. Coulson had left about an hour ago, but May had insisted on staying with her a little longer, making this place as safe as possible.

Suddenly she stood in front of her, watching her closely.

"Are you gonna be alright?"

"I feel a little --- misplaced. But yes."

"Can I do anything else for you before I go?"

Jemma clenched her hands to fists. There was something she wanted, yes, but she was too ashamed to ask for it. May was her superior office and she was too afraid to break down the barrier.

"Jemma? When I say anything, I mean it."

Looking to the floor she mumbled her request, expecting to be rejected, "Would you cut my hair?"

"Do you have scissors?"

***

 

The day their ways parted, Jemma started crying at 5am in the morning and she just couldn't stop. 

"You look like I died, Simmons." May told her after laying eyes upon her.

"Don't joke about that. Do you know how much I'll miss you?"

"We will still be in contact, you know?"

Of course they would see each other again. But they weren't a team anymore, they'd never be again. They were needed in different places now, as SHIELD evolved and grew once again. It felt like the end of an era. And it was.

"Yeah." The sobbing made her response rather inconceivable. 

May smiled, pulling her into a tight hug.

"You are a hero, Simmons. Never forget that. I'll miss you too."

 

***

 

The buzzing sound of too many people talking and laughing at once resonated in her ears. Jemma let her gaze wander around the auditorium full of young scientists, future SHIELD agents, trying to memorize their faces.

In less than five minutes she'd walk up the podium, announcing herself, welcoming them to the Academy, congratulating them on their acceptance. She'd talk about pride and dignity and integrity. 

Jemma looked into their faces now and thought about their futures. She thought about how they'd have to mourn their friends one day, about the transition they'd go through.

She'll be there for them.

Until someday, one of them would take her place.


End file.
